March 6th, 2003

05:33 am
NO TO WAR!!!

Hmm, i was thinking alot last night about my brother and his visit back from the army. i thought about it a long time and about how angry he has been and how mean he was when he was down. then i remembered that early yesterday his roomate called and said that his sergent said that they might deploy to IRAQ, in 1 to 3 months. And all my angry feelings for him dissovled. im scared for him, if in fact he goes that is, im really scared. he doesnt need to see the horrors of war, my dad was in vietnam, and my brother does not belong in another vietnam. my brother does not need to know the feeling of killing another human. he signed up for the army cause he couldnt find a job and couldnt get into college alone. not to kill or be killed. how many of us are going to continue this useless slaughter, how many of our brothers, sisters, friends and family members need to see these bloody killing (OIL) fields. i dont know. i guess the horrific acts of sept. 11 need to be avenged in the blood of iraqi’s and the poor who just wanted schooling and better than minimum wage. 
“Working men and women of America! Let us swear by all that is dear to us and that is sacred to our cause, never become a soldier and never go to war!”
-Eugene Debs

p.s. please anyone who wants to comment on this keep it nice. this is something i feel strongly about dont mock or make fun of anything i say. please.
Current Mood:  distressed
Current Music: Braid-Movie Music Vol. 1

 

Well this one was pretty self explanatory and needs no comment. William did end up going to Iraq for a long time. He also came back with a lot of baggage. More baggage than what he left with. He came back to my mom’s one time with a stack of photos that were taken whilst over there. Some of just normal wreckage and torn up streets. Then there were the other ones. The disgusting photos of suicide bombed cars and bodies. The pictures were not the most horrific things I have seen before (on film that is). The truly sickening thing was the way my brother was not affected in his description of what was in the pictures. I didn’t want my brother to become that person. The person who went to war and came back cold inside to human suffering. I immediately called my dad had him talk to him. Also I want to point out that this post was written in 2003 and here in 2011, we are still in Iraq.

 

Tags: army, braid, brother, eugene debs, iraq, vietnam, william

March 4th, 2003

05:18 am
Just a little something something………

“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”
-Hunter S. Thompson

*note to kim: keep your head up GIRL!!! please “sad eyes”
Current Mood:  good
Current Music: tv background music

 

Always have been and always will be a big fan of the great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.

 

Tags: hunter s. thompson, kim

March 3rd, 2003

04:34 am
AAAAHHHH MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!!!!!!

i have a headache like this big. (————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————) and it hurts really really bad. 
Current Mood:  working
Current Music: Archers of Loaf-in my head again

 

Apparently I had a really big headache and I thought everyone should read about it!

 

Tags: archers of loaf, attention whore, headache

March 2nd, 2003

12:09 am
note: give a dollar to the friendly homeless….

today was quite good. i woke up around 3 or 4 and took a shower. then talk to billy and kim. kim picked me up and we met up with nadia and brad at the 59 diner. i ordered a grilled cheese and i dont think i liked it but the french fries were quite good. i shouldve gotten the chili pie like i wanted. kim said it was gross though. then we left and went to soundwaves and i bought a limited pressing of 2000 of a Swing Kids picture disc. oh yeah it rules. and i gave a friendly bum guy 3 bucks. it gave me a good feeling. cause the way i see it. even if hes lying and going to go buy crack or booze with it makes him happy that little time. or hopefully hes buying food and happy and safe longer. other than those few things i did nothing but sit and listen to records for hours by myself. hopefully jordan isnt sick anymore it makes me sad when shes sick. i miss her and will maybe see her tomorrow. oh-yeah my brother is coming up here later where i work to see me when he gets to houston so rock n effin roll to that. well im out!!!
Current Mood:  chipper
Current Music: Swing Kids, Meadowlark, Los Crudos, Boy Wonder, medley

 

This was rarity of sorts. I hardly ever had times in Houston without the usual people involved. Kim and I had just became friends at this point and she had a car.  That was nice and she’d pick me up and we would do things in Houston. In retrospect,  I should’ve had more times like that in Houston. In a way,  it was like I never lived there because I was so concerned with Angleton. I don’t regret it at all really, but wish my heart was where I was rather than a different town. Once again I was not happy with my food. No wonder I became a cook, I didn’t like food. I did score some choice records at Soundwaves though.

 

05:32 am
“We can exist in ambiguity, but it means the deepest loneliness.”

Today i think im going to a show with kim and everyone. about 1-ish but im not 100% sure. anyways thats it for now.
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: Boy Wonder

 

No sure was show this is. A matinée for sure but I don’t remember who played.

 

11:56 pm
gag……………………………..blurp……………………..

today was my first day with my brother, since he came home on leave. and i have to say it sucked completely. he woke me up around 12:00 i think. and blew smoke in my face to wake me up so that was not cool. even though i smoke thats still not the most pleasant way to wake up. then i was supposed to go to a show with kim, but i had to cancel cause my dad wanted my brother and i to go to his house. and my brother didnt get ready till like 4:30 so i couldve went to show and got back and he still wouldnt have been ready cause even though he was ready at 4:4o we didnt leave till 5. and it was weird being with him and my dad again. but thats long time issues between the three of us. i wont get into that. so anyways during all that time i talked to jordan that was nice, its rare we get to talk during the days. i need a bad ass alarm clock. so i can wake up. but anyway we went to my dads and my dad cooked bb-Q. that was nice of him. after that we went to the mall and hung with jordan and i gave her the money i had of hers. 75 bizzzzones. we hang for about 30 minutes there even though shes telling everyone 5 so i dont know. maybe 20 or something i know it was longer than 5. but oh-well we are lost. but yeah i dont think i had a very good day, but no where near bad!!!

 

Well, this one is pretty much the same. I don’t really have anything to add to this. It is really funny to think that in the time away from a person you care for things would change. That is never the story of my family. Well it was for my dad towards the end. He made a dramatic change and things were better between us in the long times apart. William and my mom however never change. I will always be that weird kid in their minds. I’ll always have those weird ideas and drug habits (they either make-up when I’m not doing drugs or the real ones they never suspect). Family, what can you do about them?

mood: aggravated at my brother….he yelled at me like 5 times today!

 

Tags: 59 diner, billy, boy wonder, brad, brother, class guilt, dad, houston, jordan, kim, los crudos, mall, meadowlark, mom, nadia, soundwaves, swing kids, william

February 28th, 2003

01:04 am
I HATE HOW THINGS HAVE TO BE………

jobs, schools, cities and distance are driving me crazy. never ever enough time.

Current Mood:  gloomy

 

Oh this shit, this is easy to remember and easy to explain. This was a post maybe a little after Jordan and I had the conversation about breaking up when she went to college. Jobs: We had conflicting work schedules. Schools: Her leaving for the University of Texas. Cities and Distance: Austin vs. Houston. It really got to me knowing that eventually a relationship was going to be done with after two years just like that. Gloomy for sure.

 

Tags: austin, break-up, college, houston, jordan

February 27th, 2003

11:28 pm
you down with O.P.P yeah you know me!!!

today was so….strange to the mizzzaxxx. today i found out dennis was mad at me. i feel bad about that i wouldve loved to go to show too. but i was to busy running around with jordan. and i get to the journals and kims all weird about something??? fake friends??? but also i drove to jordans and hung with her for 5 seconds before she went to work. i was not happy about that but not mad at her just at the whole situation. then me and billy went to lunch that was fun. i hung at the mall for ever, and bought jordan a sea monkey aquarium. i think im gonna buy a bunch of those for everyone. anyone want one ask away and ill find them one for birthdays or whatever. then i went home and hung with my dad. then met with jordan jasmaster and elissa. at IHOP and ate and now im at home with no aim and nothing to talk to people. lame!!! over all days off i give a 6. points for trying, lose of points for boring in between periods. oh yeah and i bought a drive like jehu cd for 6 bucks……14 at soundwaves……who’s getting the savings…this GUY!!!

Current Mood:  disappointed

Current Music: Drive Like Jehu

 

Jesus I wanted to hang with Jordan a lot. See, the frustration here stemmed from the ol’gal working too much. And sorry to say it, probably not having time for the sex. Yes, I let that shit bother me a lot back then. This was also around the period I started buying her random shit. For some reason I thought she could take care of Sea Monkeys. If I remember correctly the little bastards lived for about a week before she killed them. Maybe they just committed suicide from having to live in her bathroom. One can never tell theses things and the psychology of a Sea Monkey is still under study. I digress. So yeah, oh Billy to the rescue on that day. Seems back when I made those visits to Angleton there were lots a meals involved. I don’t remember what Denniz was mad about or Kim for that matter. I’m sure it didn’t even matter. Drive Like Jehu, I bought that album and think it went down as one of the least listened to albums I’ve owned. Bummer cause they are really good.

 

Tags: billy, dad, denniz, drive like jehu, elissa, ihop, jasmine, jordan, kim, mall, sea monkeys

February 26, 2003

04:46 am
fax, copy, computer, washing, dryer, telephone, key…im surrounded by machines!!!

ok so today, well i didnt do much or really accomplish anything. i woke up around four in the afternoon which is early for me, but that has to do with work not cause im a lazy bastard who sleeps all day. well a little to do with that. ha. then i got on the computer and messed around on there. then watched smallville and loved it christopher reeves was on and that made the whole series. i dont know what is with the WB but i love it. i know its lame what else am i to do here? anyways after that i had a long cool conversation with kim, i think it went really well. then i went to work and talked to jordan and we are doing good to the max. then i talked to billy forever and that was neat. we talked about destroying art, or i did and shared to him my ideas on destroying art. yeah death to art!!! post comments for explanations please. well now im gonna go. oh yeah work sucks.

Current Mood:  optimistic

Current Music: elliott-drive on to me!!!

 

This is freakin’ hilarious to me. I really had an obsession with the WB network. The WB would later change to the CW. In retrospect, they may have been horrible shows but I loved them all. Everwood, Smallville, One Tree Hill! All of them were on my line-up for television all week long. Jordan and I actually used to talk before and after Everwood and discuss the show. All of those shows eventually fell the fuck off. Also, in this post, I mention “destroying art”. That whole thing came from my excessive CrimeThinc reading. I think I believed and to an extent still think the only way to move on in an artistic sense is to destroy old art. I could go on forever about this and I’d rather not. It’s funny in the post I really wanted to start discussions on LiveJournal about it. I never did get any comments or ideas from anyone on it.

 

09:33 pm
over usage of the word THEN!!!

today today today, well i had a good day id say. i went to rosharon to my dads house. he was sick but ok. so that was good. then jordan called and said she had locked her keys in her car and i had to meet her at jasmine’s. so i went over there then had to take her to lake jackson and get the extra key from her mother. her mother invited us to lunch so we went to the cactus grill. then i cashed my check and went shopping, i got a pair of jeans (weird!!!) and a messenger bag, jordan calls it a fag bag. oh yeah before all that i got a new cd case cause my old one was blowing up. so we drove around then headed to houston to pick my mom up from work. then my mom wanted to go eat and we went to a mexican restraunt which was kinda good but the beans sucked. now i am tired as hell. and at my dads chillen reading the booklet jordan got for me. hahaha. well journalites ill talk with yous lay-ta!!!!

Current Mood: groggy

Current Music: umm taking back november!!!

 

I remember this day pretty clearly. I remember the lunch with Jordan and her mom anyway. I don’t remember the Cactus Grill being good. Is it even still around? Lake Jackson/Angleton seem to go through eateries like people go through underwear. I went to my dad’s a lot back then. Looking back I feel awful that at times it seemed like a chore or responsibility. Even though it was never bad, I was just more concerned with spending time with my friends. Oh well, I can’t take it back. Moving on, I wanted to use the underwear metaphor as a segue into the rest of this post but I thought I should mention my thoughts on visiting my dad. This post was written after Valentine’s Day. The “booklet” I was reading was Nigger: The Career of a Troublesome Word. Jordan bought it for me for Hallmark Day. She also got me the Elliott and Taking Back November albums, none of which I still own. I like the dumbass I am, only remember getting her some lame bra and panty set. None of which I ever saw her wearing, ha ha, she modeled them with the lights off!

 

Tags: billy, cactus grill, christopher reeves, crimethinc, cw, dad, elliott, everwood, fag bag, houston, jasmine, jordan, kim, lake jackson, mom, nigger: the career of a troublesome word, one tree hill, rosharon, smallville, taking back november, valentines day, wb

February 25th, 2003

04:33 am
im actually all on this thing weird!!!

so anyways nothing really spectacular happened today. i woke up watched everwood. talked on the phone with jasmine and billy. and later with them two again. then jordan called and talked shit about hardcore and punk rock. then loved it up with justin timberlake. haha that girl is confused to the max. j/k hey music is music. word!!! so other than that i have gotten no where on car vs. driver but the british site kim hooked me up with. now im at work with nothing to do. but im done.

what does all this crap mean when you go to a website.
http://login.yahoo.com/config/login?logout=1&.intl=us&.src=ym&.partner=&.done=http%3a//login.yahoo.com/config/mail%3f.intl=us%26.lg=us

oh yeah using a regular webcam how do i hook this thing up with a pic next to my name. eek but not of my face!!!

Current Mood:  dorky

Current Music: ideas are bulletproof – the Pist

I don’t really remember these conversations. I can say that  I don’t think I have ever dated girls who were ever into the same music as me. Jordan and I did go to a lot of the same shows before we started dating. I ran into her at an Alkaline Trio show one time and again at a Get Up Kids show. The Get Up Kids show was funny. I went to the show not really planning on getting in because of a huge line. For some reason the idea of buying tickets was alien to me back then. I never thought any band was big enough to buy tickets for unless they were on Mtv. I went to the show with my friend Heather W. She actually drove from Angleton to Houston to pick me up for the show. So while waiting in line we ran into another friend of ours, Johnathan C. When we got to the front of the line they announced they only had two tickets left. I just remember giving guy some money and running into the show. Heather never made it in. I felt bad for a little while but the Get Up Kids made me forget how bad I felt. I can be an evil bastard some times. I met one of the craziest girlfriends I have ever had in my life at that show. A little punk/skinhead girl named Courtney. I’d go into detail about her but it’s irrelevant. I think at some point at this show Jordan actually came up to me and said hi. And again later at the Alkaline Trio show she came up and said Hi and I think I accused her of stalking me. I think she got a little embarrassed about that. So yeah, besides the whiny emo bands, Jordan and I didn’t have a common ground for musical tastes. This has been a repeat pattern in love life. The ladies just don’t understand good music.

video from the Alkaline Trio show!

Tags: alkaline trio, billy, car vs. driver, computer illiterate, courtney, everwood, get up kids, heather w., houston, jasmine, Johnathan c., jordan, justin timberlake, kim, the pist

February 24th, 2003

05:41 am
SHEESH!!!!

ok everyone who reads this mess, ive searched everywhere for something from Car vs. Driver (a really great band) and came up dirty. if anyone can help me find it i would greatly appreciate it, and buy you a copy too if you like them. anyways today is really tiring so far im suffering from yesterhours…. 

Current Mood:  sleepy

11:47 pm
change and socialism….

this is a mini-statement or attempt to spread knowlege of social change which will appear alot in my journal. but anyways here is a link to a letter written by Howard Zinn about the unjust war about to be in Iraq. 

http://www.howardzinn.org/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=86

  

I admit it, I really suck at interneting. I couldn’t do back then and pretty much still suck at it. This blog doesn’t look this way because of me. I have help. Needless to say I never found that record. Kim tried to help but I never went through with it. So there is not much to say on this day. We will see what tomorrow brings. The next second post was done on the same day but there isn’t really much to say about it. It just shows how I wanted to try and keep it political and not just ramblings from a big baby. Also it’s before the war in Iraq and Howard Zinn was alive and making me happy.

 

Tags: armchair revolutionary, car vs. driver, howard zinn, iraq war, kim

February 23, 2003

12:01 am
Saturday…..the opiate flys at light speed!!!

Today i slept forever cause i got off at work at seven in the morning and couldnt wake up till 8:oo at night. oh-well only one person called me all day. eek i should’ve called them back. oops sorry jasmine. anyways when i got to work i got a message to call kim so i did and shes gonna take me to the show sunday. so thats cool i hope its good and i see cool people i might know there. other than that im at work and its really really really really really boring. but oh well thats it for today. see everyone soon. jordan see you soon. talk to you later. 

thought for today: isnt it ironic the opiate flys at light speed!!!

bobby

Current Mood:  optimistic

Current Music: once again-submission hold..i’m obsessed

11:44 pm
akward xYOUTHx……..979 goooooooooooOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hello well today was really really cool. first thing i got off of work and decided to stay up till kim and nadia came and got me to go to a show. but then i fell asleep for like an hour. anyways then we listen to ace of base to go pick up charlie and a guy named brad. and i listened to them two talk weird charlie and brad speak!!! i was lost the whole time. metal stakes through girls chest what were they talking about!!!! yeah then we met up with jasmine and dennis and some guy in a blue, really blue hat. nah it was billy. but yeah he was wearing a horribly blue pg.99 hat. then we got to the show after a while of driving in circles and one way streets. but oh well the show was not as good as some could be but the people were nice and kim was the greatest for picking me up. then i left with dennis and hung at my apt. for a little while. that was funny. then i called jordan and we talked, till she had to eat. i fell asleep called her when i got to work and everything is cool besides her mom made her mad. and i missed her at the show. even though we dont clap for straight-edge!!! (jordan’s phrase) clever huh? it wouldve been cool if she were there but she was wage-slaving it up at work. makin them ends, gettin that chedda, etc etc. now im at work and bearly awake and feeling really happy. 

Current Mood:  happy

Current Music: Orchid

 

 

Wow a two-fer! I remember this episode very well. I don’t really remember the bands that day but in one of the comments Denniz left on the LiveJournal, he describes the bands like this: Freidman= thrice, your mistake= cro mags, where we stand =ten yard fight. I guess by my reaction to the show the bands were straight-edge. I had a big problem with straight-edge hardcore back then. I pretended or convinced myself to hate it a lot. And that’s kinda how this whole Bobby Infest thing came about as well. One day I decided to start a zine and I was going to call it Infest and Humiliate. I ended up only writing one piece for it on prisons and only did one interview with a band called One Last Chance. I think the whole interview was a chance for me to ramble about how much I hated straight-edge. Back to this post…this was the first day I met or hung out with Charlie and Brad. I remember them two were very strange to me. I didn’t understand a word they said. And I think the Brad kid smelled bad. I wonder what ever happened to that guy. I actually crossed roads with Charlie when I lived in Austin. I first met Charlie in Lake Jackson, Texas right before I went to the Navy. He was at a No Visible Trauma show. I think I was playing bass for them back then and that was my last show with them. But I digress. I lost touch with Kim and Nadia though. Kim and Denniz started dating a little after this show and were together for a long time. But I don’t think that’s my story to tell. Reading these posts again is fucking painful. I can’t believe I wrote things that way. I like how I commented on Jordan “wage-slaving” in a sentence followed by myself being at work. What a tool! I also wonder whatever became of that horribly blue Pg.99 hat. Maybe the world will never know. On that note, I wonder whatever happened to Sunday Hardcore Matinée shows.

New feature: Ghosts of LiveJournal’s Past (only deleted ones)

Denniz Trauma: FearOfBleeding

Nadia: HerDeepSorrow

Kim: xstarsxx

 

 

Tags: ace of base, billy, brad, charlie, cromags, denniz, freidman, jasmine, jordan, kim, nadia, navy, no visible trauma, one last chance, orchid, pg. 99, shows, straight-edge, submission hold, sunday hardcore matinee, then yard fight, thrice, where we stand, your mistake, zine